Marriage Dilemma: Should You Choose Love, Security, or Personal Growth?

Got a call from a friend—let’s keep her name private. She’s searching for a life partner, and whenever she feels stuck, she reaches out for my brutally honest advice. Hats off to her for taking it well and applying it in life.

This time, she asked if I believe in Jyotish (astrology). She felt caught in a loop again and wanted my perspective.

I told her I wasn’t sure if I believed in it or not. My views could evolve, but at this moment, I see it as an ancient science that gathers multiple indicators to predict future outcomes—kind of like day trading (which she has experience with). You use all the tools available to predict trends, yet very few truly succeed.

However, I also believe that karma overrides any prediction. No astrologer ever tells you your hardships will last forever. They always put a time frame—six months, a year, etc. That timeline gives you hope, and what you think, you become. Your thoughts and actions shape your life.

She then asked:

"What if someone tells me that I’ll face a rough time with my future husband—career instability, business losses, or even a second marriage possibility in my Kundali?"

She also wondered:

"Is it okay if I ask about the guy’s parents' net worth to ensure a stable life if things go wrong?"

I told her: It depends on how you communicate. It might offend the guy or not—it all comes down to understanding.

But personally, I believe you bet on the man, not his circumstances. Life is unpredictable, and you can’t always have everything secured in advance. If you’re only thinking about yourself and prioritizing comfort over experience, that’s okay—but acknowledge that it’s a choice, not a necessity.

Marriage is about experiencing life together. If challenges arise, you support each other. Even if his family is wealthy, there’s no guarantee you’ll have access to those resources. Life will always be a game of calculations if you make it one.

Why not reverse the question? What do you bring to the table? What value do you add to the relationship?

If you seek comfort, calculate everything and move forward.

If you seek experience, bet on the man.

A happy person thinks: What can I offer?
An unhappy person thinks: What can I take?

There’s no right or wrong way—just choices. It all comes down to what you truly want from life.

She replied, "I got my answers."

What matters more in a marriage—financial security or emotional compatibility? Let me know in comments below.