The Art of Acceptance in Relationships: Through the Lens of My Own Journey

When I first met Ruchi in September 2019, I had no idea that just two months later, on my birthday, a simple moment would spark something beautiful between us. A friend from Ethiopia, Hanna, along with a group of girls, came to wish me. Someone captured a short video of me bowing in gratitude, and I later shared it on my WhatsApp status. That very video led Ruchi to start a conversation with me, and as Zakir Khan puts it, " Kuch hi dino me ab Chat se Chatten ho rahi hain."

At the time, I was in an unyielding and stagnant relationship with Jhalak. After mutual understanding, we decided to part ways, making space for new beginnings. Dating Ruchi was different—she is older than me, which added a playful dynamic to our bond. In disagreements, I’d say, “You’re older, show some maturity,” while in other moments, I’d assert, “Let me handle this, I have more life experience.” It became a balance of fun and responsibility.

Why Relationships Struggle Today

A thought crossed my mind—why are so many relationships miserable today? Why do many women feel that men are inherently bad? I will discuss this from a man's perspective as it is my personal experience. The truth is, neither gender is as flawed as they are sometimes perceived.

I’ve noticed a pattern among some of my female friends—those who strongly advocate independence and equality often turn relationships into a power struggle. The issue isn’t in seeking equality, but in misunderstanding what true balance means.

In reality, men and women are not equal in terms of abilities but in the value they bring to a relationship, Family, and society. A man embracing his masculine nature and a woman embracing her feminine essence creates harmony. Their roles complement each other, rather than compete.

The Influence of Modern Perceptions

Today’s social media culture heavily influences our expectations in relationships. We see exaggerated narratives, setting unrealistic standards. Many enter relationships with preconceived notions, trying to mold their partners instead of understanding them. This often leads to frustration and emotional exhaustion.

When I started dating Ruchi, she too was shaped by these modern ideologies. In the early days, she would disagree on gender roles and societal expectations. But as we spent more time together, experiencing each other without judgment, these perceptions faded away. She naturally embraced her femininity, saying, “I don’t know how it’s happening, but it is. This relationship is changing me. Instead of a competitiveness that I am capable of anything equal to a man or you, I have started feeling that my feminine side is something I feel more aligned with. The moment I let go of that social media and perceptions' noise, it gave me immense peace.”

As Rumi beautifully puts it, “We are born of love; Love is our mother.” And when we allow love to transform us, we embrace its essence fully. 

Lessons from Vipassana and Buddha’s Wisdom

Vipassana meditation teaches us to observe things as they are, without attachment or aversion. The Buddha’s teachings emphasize seeing reality without distortion. If we apply this to relationships, we understand that love flourishes when we accept our partners as they are—without trying to change or compete with them.

When two people engage with open hearts, free from any conditioning, they naturally align with their authentic selves. There’s no need to force equality in tasks—if a man occasionally washes the dishes, or if his partner helps with his finances, it happens organically, without ego.

Rumi also reminds us: “Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop.” This is the essence of letting go—releasing perceptions that no longer serve us and allowing love to guide our growth. After all, “When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phrase each other doesn’t make any sense.”

The Essence of True Love

Love is not about proving a point. It’s not about competing. It’s about complementing each other, embracing differences, and growing together. When we remove the lens of expectations and see each other with clarity, harmony follows. Once you experience this in one relationship, you can extend it to all of your relationships, fostering deeper connections everywhere.

In the end, only love remains—and perceptions dissolve.